Thursday, September 25, 2008


Not that this is interesting or anything, but I am soooo tired of shady people. People who are looking to make a but at your expense...people who are inconsiderate of other people...and people who lie. Lately, I've been a little overwhelmed by these types of people in my everyday life...and it sucks!

Talk about a creativity life has been so crowded around the stress that these people cause that I can't think for a minute about what I want to do...much less reflct upon my own shortcomings and resolve to do better.

It's a neverending circle, don't you think?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Headaches, etc...

I'd just like to tell you about how bad migraines are. If you've never had one, you're very lucky. Yesterday I was making my breakfast when suddenly, my vision started to go patchy. For those of you that get migraines, that patchy vision, though not painful, is one of the scariest feelings ever because it is the precursor to the wretched pain that comes with a migraine. When that happens to your KNOW what is coming! As your vision comes back, the pain starts. It is relentless and there is no where to run or hide from it. Even migraine medicine fails at times. When you're coming down, you are exhausted and want to sleep. Sometimes...if you're really'll wake up with a headache, too even after your migraine was dying down. I have had them for 2 days! Talk about Purgatory on earth!

So, yeah...yesterday sucked! I had a lot to do and was incapacitated with a stupid, freakin' migraine! Even though it let up after about 4 hours, I always feel foggy and stupid and off-balance after a migraine. It's like permanent brain damage or something. The horrible thing is that people who have never had a REAL migraine often don't cut you any slack when you have one (this is unfortunate, especially in a work environment.) I am useless as an employee, mother, cook, or even a couch-potato when I get one. I can't read, sleep, watch TV (or my daughter for that matter) walk, drive or do much of anything when I get migraines.

I just had to get that out. Ok...I'm done!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Holy Crap, I'm Skinnier!!!

Ok...Some of you might not care, but since I haven't lost any weight, I decided not to get my hopes up about losing inches. I've begun measuring myself every 30 days and I have lost 1 1/2 inches from my chest, 1 1/2 inches from my waist, and 1 inch from my hips! YAY!!!! The pain is paying off! I've also increased the size of my biceps a little...GRRRR...muscles...

So, that's it...more evidence of success with perserverence. Who's with me?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Losing My Ass

I'd just like to say...for motivations sake...that I have undesireably large thighs and a "that woman had a baby" ass. What am I doing about it? Wailing on it, of course!

I've been working out regularly at an expensive gym for nearly 6 months now and haven't lost any weight. Many "quitters" would find this a good reason to give my case, it is pissing me off enough that it makes me want to work harder. I know that I will find a way to conquer my ass and be svelte and sexy and a total MILF. I am a MILF already (so some people tell me,) but I am not where I want to be at all.

So...I'm busy, right? Aren't we all? I work 35-40 hours a week like most people, and I have a 17-month-old, a husband and a house to take care of. Lots of people would say that these responsibilities make it hard to go to the gym and therefore an acceptable reason not to go. WRONG!!!! All the more reason I should go... because my life is centered around other people...and getting fit is one thing that a person does for themself! It is MY TIME FOR ME!!! My selfish time!

So I have been going 5 or 6 days a week...sometimes twice in 1 day...and focusing on my eating habits. I will not diet because I am human and I believe that humans, in order to be happy deep down inside, should be able to enjoy all foods and not limit themselves to certain ones. Instead of a diet...I set rules for myself. I eat small amounts and stop when I'm satisfied and not when I'm "full." I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. I've limited my enriched flour intake (crackers, white bread, bakery items, etc.) I don't let myself have as much beer as I'd like and I certainly have cut back on how many days a week I have a beer.

At the gym, it is pretty obvious to me what muscles I need to work on and what type of cardio training to do...the more uncomfortable an exercise makes me...the more I know I need it! I've been doing some God-aweful high-intensity aerobic training with lots of push-ups, hi-intensity interval spinning classes, weight training classes with lots of squats, endurance swimming, and...this is the thing I hate the most...interval training on the treadmill. I can honestly say that even though I'm not losing weight, I see my muscle tone more than I did before and muscle burns more calories than fat, which means that soon I will be losing weight. And I feel great. After I go to the gym...I feel like I can conquer the world! I am unstoppable!

The point in all this is...YOU CAN DO IT, TOO!!!! If you want to, you can and will be successful! If I can accomplish what I am right now...anyone can. You just need to push yourself and find discipline. No being lazy allowed...and NO MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOURSELF. Excuses = failure.

And one more important factor...suppport! We need to support eachother in our efforts. If anyone wants support from me, let me know what you're trying to accomplish and I'll support you! GO US!!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Reestablishing My Creativity

For those of you that know me...I used to be a creative musician.
I feel that I used to be fun to hang out with, exciting and funny...and a little..."off."
Now, since I've been a mother for 1 1/2 years, I've changed.
I don't write or perform my music. And I definitely rarely go "out."
I am happy...but thirsting for my sense of self.
I have lost a piece of who I am as a person. As my person and not "mother, wife, chef, cleaning lady, daughter, teacher, sister, secretary, accountant" and the many other hats that I wear.
I have forgotton who I am as a "friend and artist."

I am resurrecting "Hethur." The one we all used to know that is still there under that tired skin. A little more mild-mannered, I'm sure...maybe a little more quiet and conservative... but certainly not any less hard-headed, hot-tempered or mischevous.

Trust'll see...